If you are into rooms that don’t have crumbs on the floor, bedsheets that don’t have stains, blinds that don’t have years of dust caked on them, a couch that isn’t falling apart (and without cigarette burns), towels without holes, a range that doesn’t have food all over it and down the adjacent wall, and more than one of each piece of dish wear and cutlery (for a two-bedroom cabin), don’t stay here.